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Debauchery with men in tights

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By Desiree Perez

By Desiree Perez

“Hold on to ‘im Miss, there be loose women about!” This was the first thing heard upon entering the 45 Annual Renaissance Pleasure Fair. That outright zeal and debauchery set the tone for a surprisingly awesome day.

After paying the $7 for parking, guests drove over hills, through dusty fields and seemingly back in time, to the large wooden porthole to the Renaissance.

Once inside the Fair, it was easy to recognize many faces from the Charles Dickens Festival. Although a lot of the actors were the same, the tone of the event was completely different.

As opposed to the proper and somewhat stuffy Victorian air of the Dickens Festival, the Renaissance Fair almost pushed the envelope too far.

You couldn’t go anywhere without hearing sexual innuendo. The ale was overflowing, but only for those with valid identification. In every corner, there was a merchant goading you to examine their Witch Balls (the finest around), or their enormous jugs (of ale).

The Fair boasted many attractions including craft shops, overpriced food, Renaissance costumes, ale, battles, jousts and shows. They managed to fit some history in there, too.

Blacksmiths demonstrated their craft while creating authentic works of art. Merchants at the incense counter could explain to you exactly how authentic incense was cultivated.

Even amidst battles, you could find someone lying in wait, ready to explain to you the significance of the Queen’s Guard and the trivial tiffs that could cause bloody results in the days of the Renaissance.

Although the historically accurate information provided was an asset to the Fair, the shows really drew in the crowd.

A sign that read “Parental Advisory: Explicit Lyrics” instantly attracted a small audience.

The promises of corruption and a good time enticed the rest.

If you were of legal age, you were practically forced to have a cup of ale in hand before you were allowed to enter the show.

When the swarm had settled down and taken their seats on the hay bales, the World Famous Poxy Boggards quickly invaded the stage.

With ale in hand, the rambunctious “drinking group with a singing problem” began to holler out songs about sex, drinking and more sex.

The indecency only paused for the Boggards to drink or accost families with small children.

They stopped almost mid song to ask one couple with a baby if they really wanted to be there.

When the couple decided to stay, the Boggards simply warned that they would not be blamed if the child’s first words were profane.

The level of crowd participation and the sheer sinfulness of the Poxy Boggards’ show made it the most outstanding highlight of the Fair.

At a close second for pure entertainment value was the joust. Knights representing England, Ireland, France and Italy competed in contests of skill-until the French knight tried to kill the Queen of England.

Once that happened, bedlam reigned supreme.

Knights proceeded to jump off their horses, drawing their swords, kicked each other in the stomachs and then promised to battle it out to the death.

Sure, the Renaissance Fair has a reputation for being a Mecca for nerds and families with small children, but don’t let that stop you from attending.

Next time the Fair comes to town, make it a point to be there.

By the end of the day, you’ll realize that the Renaissance can show anyone a good time.

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