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Wakey wakey

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By Anthony Whitacre

By Anthony Whitacre

Staying up studying all night can be a real pain in the neck.

Not that I do it because I’m perfect and perfect people get all of their beauty sleep.

Now for all those less perfect, well who are not me, I feel sympathy that you stay up all night studying your tiny brains out and still go into class the next morning cramming your head full of info.

What has this establishment done to its students?

First off, take into consideration that your body needs to rest or it will not function properly.

Second, studying does get you further in school but sleeping in class does not.

I’ve known tons of “sleepers” who fall asleep in class complaining about how late they stayed up doing the homework or studying.

There’s no way you could be tired after sacrificing precious hours of sleep to study. No way. You’ve got to be joking.

“No, I’m not joking,” they say. This is the part where I look at them like they’re so dumb it’s cute.

So you continue staying awake and only sleeping for like two to three hours a night.

Have you ever seen the Cryptkeeper in “Tales from the Crypt?” Yeah. You’ll end up looking like that in no time. All shriveled and bony. Bad teeth. Kind of reminds me of my ex… Anyway!

It’s called beauty sleep for a reason, people.


Our bodies are our most important assets.

“Oh, but I have a great personality,” you say. Well it isn’t going to do you any good if you look like my ex.

“I’m falling asleep in class. What should I do,” you ask.

Uh… have you not been paying attention to what I’ve been saying?

Sleep, silly.

Get as much sleep as you can. Don’t stay up till 3 a.m. cramming because you need to remember the quadratic equation for a test or something.

Your brain processes what you learn while you dream.

Yeah! It’s so cool. Your brain has a lot of interesting functions. It works best when your body is resting, meaning you’re asleep.

It may even help you remember important stuff that you’ll need to know the next day.

So if you don’t stop being a “have to study it all in one night” weirdo and continue staying up late cramming then I guess sweet dreams while you sleep during your class.

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