Spring movie preview

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Observe and Report

Tell me if you’ve heard this plot before: Mall cop falls in love with a girl who works there. Then he must save the day when crazy hijinks occur.

If you thought “Paul Blart: Mall Cop” then you are wrong!

Well, technically, you’re right, but this time it’s Seth Rogen’s turn to play a mall cop. But, the difference between this and “Paul Blart” is that Rogen’s character Ronnie Barnhardt is bi-polar.

The shenanigans in “Observe and Report,” opening April 10, start when a flasher terrorizes mall employee Brandi, played with her usual dimbulb personality by Anna Faris.

Ronnie must compete with Ray Liotta to solve the case and win Brandi’s affections.

That’s right, I said Ray Liotta. We can only assume that he’s getting a giant check for his appearance in this destined-for-the-bargain-bin flick.

“Observe and Report” is written and directed by Jody Hill, whose previous credits include the HBO series “Eastbound and Down” and “The Foot Fist Way.

From the trailers it looks like Hill decided to lay on the comedy especially thick.

Rogen’s last few films, including “Pineapple Express” and “Zack and Miri Make a Porno,” have all been hits, so it seems crazy that he would make the mistake of choosing this trainwreck as his next project.

On the other hand, trainwrecks are the only movies Faris knows how to make.

From the “Scary Movie” franchise to “The House Bunny,” her movies are always painful to watch and make the viewer wonder how she keeps getting work.

The real mystery surrounding this film is why Warner Bros. would release it while Rogen’s real comedy, “Monsters vs. Aliens,” is still in theaters.

“Monsters vs. Aliens” is in 3D with an all star cast that includes Reese Wiutherspoon, Stephen Colbert and Hugh Laurie.

With a huge box office and rave reviews, it’s too bad that Rogen must indure the embarassment of “Observe and Report” while “Monsters vs. Aliens” is raising his profile.

It’s only competition is “Hannah Montana” and “Dragonball: Evolution” so it will probably be a huge success and spawn an entire franchise.

17 Again

If you’ve ever seen “Big,” “Freaky Friday,” “Like Father Like Son,” “Vice Versa,” “13 Going on 30” or “18 Again,” then you’ve seen “17 Again.”

The film, opening April 17, follows the familiar adult reliving their childhood formula, which, if you think about it, is really inappropriate.

Disney heartthrob Zac Efron plays the teenage Mike O’Donnell, while Matthew Perry portrays the adult version of Mike.

Based on the previous films, we’re guessing once Mike becomes a teenager again he bonds with his teenage daughter, falls in love with his wife again and appreciates being older and more mature.

Movies like these aren’t generally worth the money, because they are a dime a dozen.

Despite the presense of Perry, Thomas Lennon and Melora Hardin, this film is strictly for tweens and the unfortunate parents who had to drive the carpool.

Crank: High Voltage

He’s back from the dead.

On April 17, “Crank: High Voltage” opens in theaters and starts off right where the original “Crank” ended… with Chev Chelios laying on the concrete after falling to his death.

But, his indestructable heart is still beating and he is still alive. Now a Chinese mobster has stolen his heart and left him with a battery powered replacement, which needs regular jolts of electricity to keep work, hence the title “High Voltage.”

Guess what he is about to do in the picture to the right?

Jason Statham (“The Italian Job”) returns as Chelios, as well as Amy Smart (“The Butterfly Effect”) as his girlfriend Eve and Dwight Yoakam as Doc Miles.

New to the sequel are David Carradine, Corey Haim (yes, that Corey Haim) and Bai Ling.

The original “Crank” was known for being out of control and a little on the insane side, this sequel is sure to take it to another level.

Directors Mark Neveldine and Brain Taylor, who also wrote the script, have their own unique style that makes the series a visual masterpiece with shots that resemble ’80s video games and clever usuage of Google Earth.

This movie will no doubt appeal to action fans and young men. Women might love to look at Statham, but fair warning this movie will have a ton of violence and will not be for the faint of heart.

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