The dark abyss that is ‘Drillbit Taylor’

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By David S. Torres

By David S. Torres

If “Superbad” ever had a prequel, “Drillbit Taylor” would be it.

Of course, “Superbad” was missing flat jokes, bad acting, and the stench of selling out on the part of co-writer Seth Rogen, and up until now, could do no wrong producer Judd Apatow.

Coincidently, “Superbad” was a movie that took place through the last days of high school, so it would make sense that this movie would try to distinguish itself by flipping the script, and placing the protagonists in their first days of high school.

Director Steven Brill gives the audience a movie that is perhaps indicative of his previous works, which include the shamefully directed “Little Nicky” and “Mr. Deeds.”

With this class of director at the helm it is easy to see why the movie goes through the motions the way it does, and never really gets off the ground.

There is something to be said about movies that simply insert clichés and leave it at that.

While Apatow’s previous mega hit, “Superbad,” had one of the biggest clichés of them all, three friends trying to get laid.

It gave the audience a cliché with original writing and excellent comedic performances.

The same cannot be said of this movie.

Instead of trying to get laid, the three friends are trying not to get their skulls smashed in by some bully.

But that’s it.

No cliché with substance here.

Owen Wilson has the distinct honor of being the star of this comedic tragedy.

Wilson plays a homeless ex-army ranger that is hired as a bodyguard to thwart the hostile actions of the bully.

His performance in this movie is nothing short of puzzling, but not in the sense of it being a role too complex for Wilson.

Rather, his performance is puzzling because Wilson has shown that he does have the comedic talent to be funny when he wants to be.

But sadly that talent is nowhere to be seen here. One would think that a collaboration between Rogen, Apatow, and Wilson would be a good idea, but as it turns out, one would be wrong.

In the dark abyss that is “Drillbit Taylor,” actors Nate Hartley, Troy Gentile, and David Dorfman deliver some faint glimmers of light. The three young and somewhat funny actors that play the three friends have their moments.

David Dorfman (“The Ring”) does give a solid enough comedic performance, and never really subjects the audience to his cold dead fish eye look that he’s so famous for.

It boggles the mind that someone actually wrote and produced this movie.

But it’s not until the audience realizes that the people responsible for this monstrosity are the same people responsible for movies like “Superbad,” and “Knocked Up,” that they ask the question: What the hell happened?

One of the marketing lines for this movie is, “You get what you pay for.” Well, most will pay to see a comedy from the creators of “Superbad,” but instead will get this soon to be classic that will forever be at the bottom of the bargain bin.

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