Yawn of the dead

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By Chris Wolf

By Chris Wolf

In what can only be considered a crime against humanity, “Resident Evil” has been placed once again in the hands of Paul Anderson, who in turn butchers the film and slaps fans of the franchise in the face.

In the third iteration of the series, we catch up with the cast, who have decided since the last movie that it’s best to stay on the road, “Mad Max” style in order to avoid the T-Virus that has spread around the globe since the last film in the series, leaving the world parched and decayed. Their life consists of running over zombies, finding survivors, and foraging seedy Las Vegas Motels for food.

Alice (Milla Jovovich) discovers a journal that convinces her Alaska is free of the virus. Of course, the millions of flesh hungry zombies pose a small problem, but fortunately the survivors have plenty of guns, and as we all know, guns solve everything.

“Resident Evil: Extinction” isn’t necessarily the worst movie ever made, but the material that the movie is based on has the potential to be awesome. What bothers me the most is that “Resident Evil: Extinction” has even less to do with the game franchise this time around. There is so much that this movie could do with the horror genre. The film had no traditional “horror” moments from the game, such as the uneasiness you feel in “Resident Evil: 4” when you find out that a parasite has been planted inside of you, a ticking time bomb waiting to burst open and take control of your body.

In place of excellent writing that can evoke genuine fear and uneasiness, the film relies on cheap clichés found in most straight to DVD horror movies. Loud shocking bangs from out of nowhere or somebody’s head popping onscreen suddenly are the only frightening parts of the movie. Even the zombies look identical. In one action scene they went so far as to wear matching jumpsuits, which means either all the Elvis impersonators in Vegas became zombies, or the costume designer needs to be fired.

Extinction’s cast is rather forgettable. Except for Ashanti who sounded as if she was reading her lines for the first time while filming, the cast wasn’t horrible. On the other hand, there wasn’t anybody who stood out in the movie. Jovovich of course stars in the movie, doing what she does best: Showcasing gratuitous nippleage. Mike Epps is no longer the comic relief, unlike the last film, and fortunately dies before he could make a complete ass of himself.

Hardcore fans of the Resident Evil games that expect a film keeping true to the series story might want to avoid this movie. If you’re an action buff who can’t get enough head exploding action, “Extinction” won’t disappoint. It’s stupid fun, and nothing more.

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