The wonderful ‘World of Warcraft’

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By Adrian Pascua

By Adrian Pascua

There is actually a game that has the power to take away your soul.

The “World of Warcraft” is so addicting and so powerful, people forget to eat, sleep and use the bathroom while they play. I bet they even forget that bath water ever existed.

Just how strong is the “World of Warcraft?” Over 5 million people in Asia, Australia, Europe, and North America play the game daily.

It’s so big even “South Park” had to get a piece of it. Even “College Jeopardy” used one of its most well known players, Leroy Jenkins, as reference.

It’s a fact: “World of Warcraft” is the end of all human social interaction. Ever since the creation of the online role-playing game, there is hardly any need to leave your house anymore.

Technology for online gaming is so good, people don’t even type what they have to say. They use an ability called team talk, which allows the player to talk to other players in what I will call Warcraft speak.

The game basically makes it so that people don’t even have to interact with the outside world. I guess if your goal in life is to live in your mom’s basement for the rest of your life, it becomes easier to do.

The effect that “World of Warcraft” has is so strong that it can even distract hormone driven teens. The very purpose of human life is to fornicate, but it becomes really hard do that when you love the character you created more than real women.

By the way, if you build a female character, she will be sexually harassed, no joke. I bet some of you guys out there would enjoy that a lot more than getting a real girlfriend.

I just want you to know, not every girl is into guys who live in video games. Then again, if you get lonely, you could always pay someone’s Night Elf 5 gold to strip for you.

I’ll be honest with you, I don’t play the game and probably never will; thank God for that, but I do play video games. Still, how anyone can keep their eyes glued to a computer screen for that long is just beyond me.

The fact that you’re reading this paper means that you got away from your computer just long enough to go to school. When you get back home, you’ll probably plunge yourself into your virtual persona again.

Let me tell you, if I let something like “World of Warcraft” control my time, I’d probably end up like some of you: with no life.

The longest anyone has ever played the game is 50 hours straight. Of course he died, due to the fact he wouldn’t eat, sleep or drink. The real question is, how do you kill that which has no life?

If that wasn’t stupid enough, you should’ve gone to his funeral, which of course, was online. More than 2,000 players attended-from their computers.

The worst part is that the players have to pay $14.95 a month just so they can live, and apparently die in their little fantasy world.

Sorry if this hits a little too close to home for a lot of you, but some people just won’t admit it when they have a problem.

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