Mr. Perfect: The Grudge

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By Anthony Whitacre

By Anthony Whitacre

It wallows deep within the subconscious waiting to be released upon the world in a wave of frenzy and terror. It can be inside anyone, even you.

No, I’m not talking about that horrible movie “The Grudge” starring fabulous Sarah Michelle Gellar and her hot honey Jason Behr. I’m talking about holding grudges.

Many people spend their lives wasting away over something as stupid as a grudge. Perfect people such as myself don’t hold grudges. Someone ticks us off, we let them know. People have to be told when they are wrong. If not, the world would fall into chaos.

Enough about me I want to talk about you. The imperfect population.

Now, I recently read in a section of the Press-Enterprise about a 30-something year old man who went into a school and executed a bunch of little girls because he had a grudge against little girls since his childhood.

Now for a man to do that to a child is disgusting. He wasn’t just some weirdo that thought he could go and shoot up the school. It was as if he planned it according to some of the evidence police found.

That is what a grudge can do to people. It twists in their mind and it repeats and repeats itself. Kind of like a scratched CD.

I had a friend in high school that once had a grudge against a cheerleader and every time the cheerleaders performed she hoped that the girl would fall and die.

Of course, that didn’t happen but she did fall and break her leg really badly. It was during a barrel toss. Sad. Sad. My friend was really satisfied about that. If I only knew I was hanging out with Charles Manson.

As a non-professional physician my prognosis is that holding a grudge causes bad skin and constipation.

Of course this is not scientifically proven. Holding a grudge is bad for anyone’s health and it gets really annoying having someone constantly scheming about the person they have a grudge against.

Come off it already! It happened a millennia ago and you’re wasting your time still loathing over it. Go on Jerry Springer or something and beat the hell out of the person. It’s a better way of expressing a healthy emotional state than keeping it all pent up.

Holding a grudge is like a fire. If it builds higher and higher it will become a blaze and consume the soul.

Now, I know a lot of people have seen “A Nightmare on Elm Street.” Freddy Krueger is a major crazy guy with a grudge as well as Jason Voorhees in “Friday the 13th.” How many movies did each of them make? Plus the one where they appeared in the same movie.

Both are perfect candidates who share a grudge against people. Voorhees has all this pent up rage over anyone who comes to Crystal Lake due to the fact that the camp instructors let him drown or something like that and Krueger is after all the children on Elm Street because of the parents burning him to death.

If you die while holding a grudge please don’t come back anymore because I am so sick and tired of sequels.

So what is the lesson for today? Don’t keep grudges. They cause constipation and possible resurrection with many cheesy sequels. Just let it all out and keep on smiling. That may be a way of keeping on the track to perfect.

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