By Johnathan Kroncke
By Johnathan Kroncke
“Cursed”….Yes, this movie is.
After watching the Academy Awards and seeing the best of the best in Hollywood, thinking of this movie is an affront to everything that is beautiful about the film industry.
Wes Craven’s latest bomb stars Christina Ricci as the predictably doubting older sister, Ellie, who, along with her nerdy younger brother Jimmy, is attacked by an unknown creature one night during their drive home.
Jimmy, pitifully played by Jesse Eisenberg, begins to research the shadowy creature and immediately comes to the conclusion that he and his sister were attacked by a werewolf. This of course makes perfect sense as not only are werewolves real, but they are often seen roaming the hills of Los Angeles where the attack took place.
At first, Ellie dispels her weird little brother’s claim, saying he is still upset over the death of their parents. However, as time slowly drags on, the two begin to see signs that maybe the theory is true.
All the while, Ellie’s aloof boyfriend, played by Joshua Jackson, keeps popping up out of nowhere “just to talk.” However, he does not just stalk her outside of work but, in one scene, actually breaks into her home only to walk up slowly behind her and say “I have something to tell you.” Ellie finally accepts the reality that she is turning into a werewolf and along with Jimmy, the two search desperately to find the identity of the original werewolf who bit them. All of this accompanied by several hard-to-miss plot twists make for one of the worst movies of all time.
First off, the monstrous werewolf that terrorized Los Angeles looked like nothing more than a big guy in a hairy suit. In fact, in more than a couple of scenes, the head and mouth appeared to be a poorly made hand puppet. With all of the technology that filmmakers have at their disposal, this type of movie-making is inexcusable.
To keep things nice and balanced, the acting in “Cursed” was on par with its special effects.
Eisenberg delivered his lines with all the intensity of a mouse after a run in with an exterminator. Ricci, who in the past has performed well in films like “Casper” and “Pumpkin,” came off as annoying and bland.
Writer Kevin Williamson may never get another job again. The atrocious nature of this horribly predictable script leads viewers to check their watches, wondering when the movie will be over. Not one twist and not one story element could be considered a surprise. Everything from who is killed, to when they are killed to who the original werewolf is can be deciphered within the first 10 minutes of the movie.
Wes Craven has certainly taken a nose dive since his reign as horror-flick king with the “Scream” series. As Chris Rock stated at the Academy Awards, this is one of those movies where you question the financial status of the cast and crew. Craven needs to seriously reassess his career goals before he takes on another project. In all honesty, when a movie is so bad they refuse to hold a screening for critics, it is a sign that this is not the best work they could have done.
