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Written by Nicole Tambunan
There’s a constant battle between doing what is right and doing what you want, like finding a large sum of money on the ground right around when the rent is due and debating whether to keep it or turn it in.
Or on a more relatable scale, when it’s 7:43 a.m. and you still can’t decide whether to roll out of bed for your 8 a.m. or have a “screw it” moment and go back to bed.
But what about majoring in something you know will
make you financially stable versus majoring in what you’re passionate about?
There’s a quote that’s always stuck with me through the years: “Choose a major you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life, because that field probably isn’t hiring.” Ouch, major self esteem blow.
It’s easy to get sucked into this vicious cycle. You graduate high school feeling pretty damn good about yourself, but half- heartedly decide on a major that you know will guarantee a steady paycheck.
As you grow and figure out who you are, the months–maybe even years–go by, you realize maybe you shouldn’t have been so hasty. “But that’s OK,” you tell yourself, going over the bones of the human body for the eighth time at 2 in the morning, “it’ll be worth it when you get that first paycheck.”
You start meeting new people every weekend, and like all college students they always ask
you, “What’s your major?” “Nursing,” you say, so tired of this question you just want to tattoo “don’t ask me about my major” on your forehead. “What’s yours?” Their face breaks out into a huge smile and here it comes, you’re irritated and zoned out at this point, but you can’t help noticing how happy
and enthusiastic they are.
“Why don’t I feel like that?” The bitterness starts taking over when you attend class, your interest to learn (which was never really there) depletes, life seems like a tiresome and mundane
cycle. When does it end?
It wasn’t until one bleak
Monday when I was doing last minute studying in my car for a final.
Out of nowhere I felt a very
heavy feeling in my chest. Familiar to this, I was usually able to push it away but this time it seemed to come up into my throat and before I knew it, in about two seconds I had started my car and driven off.
I sat in silence the whole ride home aware I destroyed my chance of ever passing the class, but oddly enough I felt a sense of relief driving away.
The truth I had tried to bury had finally come out: I was unhappy. Why was I even doing this? For my parents, the money? All I could see in my future was a bitter old nurse.
Nursing is a great career, but it took time to come to terms that it wasn’t for me.
In the end, I decided that I had to trust my gut. I wasn’t
sure what exactly I wanted to do, I just knew that I didn’t want to be graying, wishing I had the courage to take a leap all those years ago.
I didn’t want to live a safe life of what-if’s. A year later, I’m a completely different person.
I’m still in the process of building my future, but I don’t remember the last time I’ve been this happy with myself. When you try to be true to yourself, life really does have a way of working things out.
