Mr. Perfect

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By Anthony Whitacre

By Anthony Whitacre

What is one of the main killers in society today?

Besides bad breath, which we all know kills, there is that one object called a gun which can kill you in a heartbeat.

Hello, all my lovely adoring fans! I missed you. I know you missed me because who wouldn’t. Your Mr. Perfect is back for another year.

I had a wonderful summer filled with jam packed fun in the sun and I’m here to share with you some interesting tidbits I picked up while sunbathing and surfing.

In some areas of our country there are strict laws prohibiting guns from being used by anyone without a license for the weapon. What do people care about the laws? They have guns anyways.

Guns have been used nation wide to protect, scare and kill people. Basically, the law cracks down on anyone who uses a gun to shoot someone. I guess people just don’t like being shot at.

Now the interesting thing I’ve learned is that when people are prohibited from using guns they use them anyway. So it makes you think what the world would be like if there was no such thing as gun control.

I picture it now. You’re driving down the street and some maniac cuts you off. You reach to honk your horn and decide against it. The guy could be a total nut job that has a gun and could blow you away for even getting on his radar.

People are very weird like that.

It would be an interesting world. It would basically become survival of the fittest. Or everyone would be too scared to say anything to one another for fear of being shot at. Gangs would be antsy because another person could come up to them and shoot them.

Hmmm, sounds about like today’s society doesn’t it.

Gun control prompts that handling a firearm without a license is against the law and those caught with an unlicensed firearm will be charged and arrested.

If only this were a perfect world where we didn’t need guns. Perfect people such as myself don’t need guns. We handle situations with our good looks and debonair charm.

For example, down on the beach my friends and I were making smores. Some drunken person came up to us and started hassling us. I handled the situation by flashing my million dollar smile which no one can resist and with a little elbow grease (and a lot of flirtation) the person went away.

See did I need a gun to shoot the drunken person? Of course not. Perfect people don’t need firearms. We are the firearms.

So with this whole deal on gun control, not a lot of people care about abiding by the law. Even though they should abide by it.

Guns are dangerous and they are not toys. Even though people make gun toys for little kids.

That’s another point, toy companies are hooking children on the ideas of playing with guns from an early age. What do you think a child is going to do when he sees a shiny new gun in his daddy’s drawer?

I don’t even like to think about the outcome of that. Hopefully his dad walks in soon.

So come on people, live in a perfect society and use your charm and good looks to win a battle. Not a gun.

Guns are just so uncool.

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